I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
