Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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