If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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