If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
