A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
