Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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