I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
