It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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