all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
