Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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