Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
