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He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you win again, gameday.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
