My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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