Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
