either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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