I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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