2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
