did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
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Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
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he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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