It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
