oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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