you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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