I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
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i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
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A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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