so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
