I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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