I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You should frame my arrest warrant.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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