can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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