I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
