he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
