I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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