My room smells like vodka and shame
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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