Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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