I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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