I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
