at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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