god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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