Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
as a side note pls kill me
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
