The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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