what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Everyone says I win the strip club
FUCK WHALES
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