He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Plan B is the new Plan A
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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