we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
