Sponge bath it is.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
