I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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