It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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