There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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