If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
