Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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