I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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