so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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