remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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