my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
whose ass print is on the piano?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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