we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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