I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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