On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
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her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
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It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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