I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
