Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
