i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
