What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
