i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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