Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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