I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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