I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
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i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
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Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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