thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
