Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
