Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
