it's great music for shaving your balls
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
