I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
