the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
