I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
