I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
