I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
