and she was petting her beer can
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
