She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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